SIGNS OF POSSESSIVENESS…:
A healthy relationship is one which allows both partners to have their own space as much as it makes them committed to each other.
Here are the most common signs of a possessiveness…
** Wants to know where you have been…
Means…wants to be in control of you,your behavior and relationships.This kind of behavior rarely means that he/she loves you too much to miss you but merely that he/she wants to control every aspect of your social life.
** Calls you ten times a day…
Calls you ten times a day apparently to ‘see how you are doing’.. It is insecurity which makes him/her call you several times a day just to make sure that he/she knows what you are doing and who you are with.
** Claims to have no friends except you…
By claiming that you are the focus of his/her, he/she seems to be putting you above everybody else but actually he/she is trying to put you in a position where every little thing in your life has to be about him/her.
** Wants to know exactly how you know this guy/girl…
possessiveness is when your boyfriend/girlfriend is not satisfied with merely knowing that the guy/girl you met at the mall is just a co-worker. He/she wants to know much more – is he/she in your department, is he/she married, in a committed relationship and how come you have so much to say to each other outside working hours..
** Tells you what to wear…
This is not about a simple suggestion. Will soon move from making suggestions to planning your wardrobe, to the extent that he/she might get rid of clothes that he/she feels show too much of ‘his/her’ partner.
** Assumes that you will like whatever gets for you…
A possessive man/women cannot imagine that you may have a choice of your own. He/she believes that whatever he/she finds worthwhile will surely be appreciated by you.
** Jealousy and isolation…
A possessive man/women is often jealous of anything in your life that takes you away from him/her. will attempt to control your schedule to ensure that you spend the bulk of your free time with him/her, and may become angry when you make plans that do not include .
** ‘Punishes’ you for going against wishes…
kind of punishing behavior may range from sulking for days to giving you the silent treatment and even withdrawing love.The whole idea is to make you feel guilty for daring to make your own choices.
** Cannot understand why you don’t like a dish…
Whether it is food, music or sports, you must like exactly the same things that he/she does or it is a sign that ‘you don’t love him /her enough’. This kind of thinking has nothing to do with love or compatibility but is just a way of controlling you.
* Conclusion:
If you see the signs of over possessiveness in your relationship; it is time for you to talk to your partner. Try to assert yourself and discuss the issues. Talking and communicating your issues to them might just be the need of an hour. Set the time frame for them to improve and change, and if this doesn’t work move on. It is better to get away and end relationship now with self-respect intact rather than ruining the rest of your life. And if they really do change for you, then you will be making the biggest mistake of your life if you don’t reciprocate their love. …
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